It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
