Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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