He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize