after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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