her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
