we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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