spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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