I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize