I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
