I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i believe in u and ur pee
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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