Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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