i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
