After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize