im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
