Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
