I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
