So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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