whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
