who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
