Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
