I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
