Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
