I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
