A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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