would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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