covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
