Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
