On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize