So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
