Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
