how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
