i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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