Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
