Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
