I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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