i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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