therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
if only i could text you this smell
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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