also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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