after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
