Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
