I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
