Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
