why didn't you poke me back
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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