how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
