So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize