he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
