idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
