Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you made out with another girl for some wings
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
