I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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