I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize