I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
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