I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
