I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
