I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
