i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
