dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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