forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
