Barsexuality is the new black.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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