Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
