bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
