K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
