Say something about gay babies.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
