# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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