If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
