if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
