i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
