sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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