i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize