I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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