He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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