how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He shit in the fireplace
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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