A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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