He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize