I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
