Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
