the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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