whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
