if i can run in heels then i can drive
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
