I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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