I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was CRYING into my vagina
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
