sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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