i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
