I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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