I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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