Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
