I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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